If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
