Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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