I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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