There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
