and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
