The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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