WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
