Yo dont text me then not text me
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
