do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Damn victory sex feels great
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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