She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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