I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
