So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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