I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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