I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
