just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
