Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
