well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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