dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
