the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Your penis caused this!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
