does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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