I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
