Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
