No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
