He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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