so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
