It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
