before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
