some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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