i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
