you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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