Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
