Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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