Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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