awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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