Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
