she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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