Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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