God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
