the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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