I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
