Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
