Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
