on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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