There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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