So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
