You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
