I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
