i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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