.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
