I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
