whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
