About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
